SegaSonic Popcorn Shop

In today's installment of Hedgehogs Never Tell I'd like to do something completely different.

In 1993, as I've said, countless times, Sonic was the hypest shit. His shit-eating grin graced every imaginable product conceivable - transcending typical gaming merchandise, Sonic got his own Thanksgiving Day Parade float, was emblazoned on commercial jets, and had several concurrent television series. This, of course wasn't enough milk for Sega, who decided to throw their IP into the ring, and tackle the exciting, competitive world of....

Vending machines....


Joy Mech Fight

1993 was the golden-age a fighting games. Major classic franchises - Fatal FurySamurai ShodownStreet Fighter, Mortal Kombat, et al - had dug their tendrils into the minds and hearts of the masses. All the while, Sega was innovating in bold new ways, introducing both the genre and its dedicated fans to the third dimension, with their brand-new IP, Virtua Fighter.

But what about Sega's then rival in the home-market, Nintendo? Without the arcade presence they had in the early eighties, surely Nintendo could not compete with the likes of Capcom, SNK, Sega, and Namco, right?

Yes, you are right.



Oh, hey, remember when I said I was going to be writing more?

Ahem.... Well, anyway,  this past weekend an up-and-coming German shmup developer by the name of Infinite Vile released an independently published, dubiously titled  manic-shooter, NYXX. How does one pronounce NYXX? Is it a word? Is it an acronym? After the bump, all these questions, and more...will be rendered irrelevant since NYXX is a damned good shooter.


SYNSO & Squid Harder

Before this blog went on two-year hiatus (sorry about that), I had discussed several shooting games, in rather explicit detail, noting every nuance of their scoring systems, and power-ups. I had also previously reviewed the then unknown predecessor to the PS4 indie darling, OctoDad. As we all know, both shmups and cephalopods alike are pivotal cornerstone gaming conventions. That's why, many years ago, a British programmer by the name of Robert "OddBob" Fearon beat Young Horses to the punch in regards to tentacled-protagonists, going even farther, and combing these classic themes into one, giving the world SYNSO...


Sonic Xtreme

Oh, I didn't see you come in there. Haha.

Welcome, once again, the Hedgehogs Never Tell,  a series where I ramble on and on about Sonic games, and you feign interest. Now, picking up more or less exactly where we had left off in the last installment, would bring us to 1994. Ah, 1994, the year The Scream was stolen in Germany, and everyone wore flannel shirts,  and although Bill Clinton was the president, Sonic the Hedgehog was king, as far as kids, and marketing analysts where concerned.

In addition to being the most relevant videogame series/character of the time, he also appeared in the Macy's Thanksgiving Parade, and boasted a soundtrack written by Michael Jackson himself. But this wasn't enough for Sonic, who drunk with fame, and surrounded by yes-men, co-launched not one, but two animated television series in September of '93. Why did they need to make two? I don't know. One was a syndicated weekday cartoon, that channeled Tex Avery's coke-fueled slapstick humor, and the other was exclusively broadcast on ABC, trying to paint the series as a much darker affair, despite still being about furries with shiny red kicks.

"Well, that's all fine and well", you must be thinking "But what has this to do with video-games?"
And I would respond with "Shut up. I'm getting there"


Yeti Hunter

Man has forever been haunted by the unknown; for as long as man could communicate, there have been legends and tales of horrible monsters that lurk in the shadows unknown waiting to strike. What do they want? Where did they come from? Who knows? Who cares? All that matters is that they are there, we don't know what they're up to, and we must destroy them, for some reason. This is Yeti Hunter.


Lethal Application

Lethal Application is a doujin-shooter, featuring a female protagonist, and a science-fiction setting. No, no, don't leave just yet. Lethal Application is actually very innovative in it's design, straying far away from standard SHMUP conventions. In it, your primary method of combat is also your chief form of mobility; they are one in the same, and offer different results depending on how you apply them, hence the game's clever title.

It's like Shakespeare. Nothing short of poetry in motion.

Vidiot Game

Howdy masochists!  Rob Zilks here with another game that I'm sure most of you will either enjoy or lose your mind over


This Precious Land

 (This will be a short article, as I'm currently writing two fairly large articles in the meantime. Stay tuned.)

Every now and again a game comes along and promises that you will waste hours of your life playing them and accomplish absolutely nothing. These types of games are generally known as 'Sandbox games", and are a good way to waste a rainy day, granted that you have the ability to waste vast thatches of time guilt-free. This Precious Land takes this idea, and adds a challenging twist, that requires you to earn the ability to place things on your plot of land. Go grab a coffee, and a clove cigarette, and join the revolution.

Let's just say that smoke isn't there because that girl is hot.


Sonic Crackers

Welcome back to Hedgehogs Never Tell, a rosy, and informative retrospective on the Sonic the Hedgehog series, focusing on unreleased games, and content left on the cutting room floor. Today we'll be answering the question you never asked before, "What is Sonic Crackers?"

Skipping ahead a bit from where we left off, Sonic 3, just like it's predecessors, was the focal point of a media blitz. Even after the game was released, SEGA teased the public with hints that, unsurprisingly, a follow-up was due soon. However, SEGA had hinted that a fourth (actually fifth) installment might come before 1994 was through. This was unexpected, as each game in the series thus far had spent close to a year in the oven. In October of that year, everyone discovered that this much alluded-to game was in fact Sonic & Knuckles, a game stitched together from stages that couldn't be finished in time for Sonic 3. But what about this other mysterious game?